So many fascinating things going on in the world. I truly believe the world is currently going through a great transition. My writing life has been sporadic lately – coming in irregular bursts rather than the way I prefer it to happen: as a regular daily habit. But it doesn’t help to be down on myself. No more guilt about what I am or am not doing “right.”
Nevertheless, it would be a shame to forego writing during this phase of human history when amazing reality-shifting things are happening on a daily basis. I am reading a ton and then (horrors!) not writing about it. Of course, I also recently started a new job, a new exercise program, and a new diet — and all this making a living and taking care of your body stuff takes a huge amount of time and energy, especially when you also need your sleep.
My life stopped two years and one month ago when my son suddenly died at the age of 23. I didn’t care about doing anything, and to be honest, fully expected to follow him to the next world within a year. When I survived the first year I began to consider doing things again. At the 22-month mark, after an incredible period of spiritual discovery and growth, I came to the point I could begin to live what is left of my life again. That’s when I re-joined the Y and started the exercise program. As for writing, I guess I never really stopped doing that. However, during the post-loss period most of it was not fit for public consumption. I kind of have to write to live. Interestingly, even when I wanted to die, I somehow kept writing. I could no more stop writing than I could stop breathing.
What is writing to me? Writing is how I free my mind and also how I find out which parts of my mind are not free. Writing also helps me to see which parts of mind I am not comfortable sharing publicly. It makes me see that I am living a life in multiple dimensions. I used to feel a little guilty about this, like if I didn’t want to share all parts of myself, I was some kind of hypocrite; you know the old canard, “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to be afraid of.”
Millions of people whose lives have been ruined or ended because they expressed thoughts not approved by whoever had power over them could tell you that canard is bullshit. Even if you are not necessarily going to get hauled off to a gulag for saying the wrong thing, almost every family, every community, and every social group, has unspoken rules that if you break or don’t agree with will get you banished. Perhaps you get sustenance of various kinds from the group – food, companionship, love, shelter – you know the kinds of things you need to live as a human being. Maybe you want to think your thoughts out fully and freely before being cast out in cold. I say it’s better to think freely but secretly than to fail to think at all because you are afraid of the implications.
I myself am in little danger of being cast out of any group I am in, at least as far as I know. Still there are things outside the bounds of common discourse. A few months ago, I went to see a spiritual medium and contacted my son. It was a profound experience. It was him! I recognized his energy which I know well and he spoke to me about things only he would know. I felt happy for the first time since the day he left this world. I wanted to share the experience with the world. Everyone I shared with was polite, but I could tell some were put off. I haven’t heard from some of them since.
Another thing is I have realized is there is a good chance we live multiple lives. Yes, I’m talking about reincarnation. The continuing or real part of our life is where we go when we leave our bodies. When we die we remember it all and reunite with souls we have known forever. Our lives in this world are temporary episodes that we choose to live with the handicap of not remembering who we really are. Part of the challenge of this life is to find out which, if any, parts of your real life come back to you. Can you remember who you are and have been as a soul? Do you just have a feeling you know certain places and certain people? Were you born with strong attractions to some things and maybe aversions to other things?
I’ve read many books recently about lives between lives — people who are hypnotized and remember — and some who can confirm who they remember being in past lives. Two by Michael Newton, PH.D. are the gold standard in this genre: Life Between Lives and Journey of Souls. Although the idea of reincarnation goes against what I was taught to believe, I feel like it’s true though I don’t claim to actually know for sure. If I know anything, it’s that I don’t know much. But what I have read makes sense to me and the evidence is convincing. I plan to explore this direction further but I generally find most of the people I know are closed and even threatened by this topic. So, I keep it to myself for the most part. (Of course, some people I know might be reading this blog. If you know me and are interested is this sort of thing, let me know. I won’t bring it up unless I know someone is interested and receptive.)
There is a lot happening in my life right now. I started this blog a couple years ago as a place to write mostly about current events. But since I don’t really have a blog just to write about what is going on in my life and whatever I feel like writing, I am going to use this one. I will still write about what is going on the world. I don’t feel like separating my life from the current state of the world I live in. Separation like that is exactly what I am trying to get away from: what is okay to talk about versus what is not.
Those in power have gotten away with a massive amount of plunder and damage to ordinary people because we (and they) separate personal life from public life. We live our little lives and let someone else make all the decisions about how our money is going to work and how much of it we get to keep and who is going to get the part we don’t get to keep. And we let someone else decide who is going to be our enemy and who we need to fight and kill. There are certain people and organizations who are more than happy to make all those decisions for us, and believe me, the decisions they make are not always, if ever, in our best interest. More to come.